im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
