Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
