ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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