i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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