i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
