Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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