When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
