man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
