So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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