My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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