I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
