i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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