From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
