our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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