i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
