I will die if light touches me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
