Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize