my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
