please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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