Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
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hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?