i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
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On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
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No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone