I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me