happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.