I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia