i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.