Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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