So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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