is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
