it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
