dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
