The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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