A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
