even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
