just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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