Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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