Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
