i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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