You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
