are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Reggie can tackle my bush.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
