Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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