Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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