i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
