I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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