The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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