'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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