shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
