I bet he comes in French.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
