Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My bed smells like the plague
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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