Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
