actually, I'm a sock model
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My life is pants optional.
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