garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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