that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
