Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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