Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
