You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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