Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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