i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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