would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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