Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
