I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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