think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
