i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
