My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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