Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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