Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can feel your judgement through the phone
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
