nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
