But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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