Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
